Well, watching the video is just the first step. Use this mission to start getting proficient. http://airgroup51.net/forum/index.php?topic=7323.0 You can watch all the videos in the world but you know that you've got to practice it in order to build any kind of muscle memory.
My issue was always being offcenter from the basket! Once I watched Maverick's video, I noticed that the buddy pack up on the wing of the refueler - didn't matter whether it was the Vicking, the Herculese or the 135 - it was right up at the top of the canopy bow and just not quite centered. That made all the difference to me. I have also been placing the wings into the "Bomb Mode" and find that very stable. I get up next to the tanker's wingtip and trim the plane out as best I can and then move into the pre-contact position. I also have gotten into the habit of silencing Jester beforehand! 
I hadnt seen this one, but believe me Ive watched literally 10+ refuelling vids. after watching I tried again. I just cant get it. I didnt even mess with seat height. I can get RIGHT to the drogue, and I just dance with it. I get it trimmed up, everythings gravy, and the probe, I just cant get the probe in, or a few times Ill get it in ande I cant get it to stay ij. Also as Im sure you know (from quitting just from my voice lol!) after a few tries you need a break if youre getting frustrated it all goes downhill.
As I said before I practice. just because I dont with you is two fold - its embarrassing to fail EPICALLY in front of you guys. And I feel I have an audience though noone cares what Im doing. I also dont want to get in the way as it seems one of you bug drivers is ALWAYS tanking. Ill add I just feel why do it when I can do it SP, why not do something I can ONLY do in MP. For example Im not rah rah formation but I think soldier will agree even just in a couple flights I got a lot better at staying with him and close to him. not exactly formation but usually Im used to me and sabot flying alone totally. Also how do you feel about the F5 on our side? Flying the F14 solo is cool, but I really prefer multicrew. And I dont really have a stick right now. I can fly the F14 a lot, but I cant do LGBs, and its not the same. The workloads doable but tough, and the bars higher in MP. It was made a 2 person plane for a reason IRL. I also fly the huey, but the 2 current pilots are way better than me. I have the gazelle and can escort them however. Im just looking for other roles to fill in combat situations besides the F14. Also since the Mi24 is in NATO when the HIND comes out what are your feelings on that (Sorry to get totally o/t)
Im honestly starting to believe I wont ever refuel in game. Ill keep at it, but I hate to say it sir, Im more or less satisfied with my competency. Its a flaw, but really affects F18s more. The Jf17 doesnt have the longest legs but it hasnt affected me and we never let me play with my toy anyway.
We have never had a squad even where the F14s went out of fuel. closest was when sabot wasnt there 3 months ago during a strike where I used decoys, and I was worried I wouldnt make it back. I made it back easily and in hindsight I was worried over nothing. even then I still turned an engine off and went slow back for 100 miles... I landed with the short number to me of 2k lbs. Of course then I realized thats 1/3 of the internal tank of many planes like the Jf17.
