Author Topic: Funnies-  (Read 9512 times)

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Offline AG-51_Thud

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Re: Funnies-
« Reply #15 on: January 07, 2013, 07:11:51 PM »
 A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.
 
He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife:
 
"Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck." If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you."
 
To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!" 
 

Offline AG-51_Hawg

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Re: Funnies-
« Reply #16 on: March 27, 2013, 06:52:03 AM »
Armstrong and Miller good LOL and this and that.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k-oPgbPdnWk&list=RD02lwNQf08Kxsw

Offline AG-51_Hawg

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Offline AG-51_Cobraj

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Re: Funnies-
« Reply #18 on: June 12, 2013, 09:04:06 PM »
LOL funny
=Cobraj=
Air Group 51 Commanding Officer (RET)

"A faithful friend is a source of strength; whoever finds one has found a treasure."

Offline AG-51_Hawg

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Online AG-51_Razor

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Re: Funnies-
« Reply #20 on: September 19, 2013, 01:36:01 PM »
An oldie, but still one of my favorites!!  :icon_biggrin:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xu_leZE76VE


Any pilot that tells you he's never been lost is either lying or he's never been anywhere.

Offline AG-51_TwoLate

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Re: Funnies-
« Reply #21 on: October 17, 2013, 09:37:44 AM »

From another post in DCS World.

You never know  Makes me think of this story I heard from a friend that is an ATC:

The German air controllers at Frankfurt Airport are a short-tempered lot. They not only expect one to know one's gate parking location but how to get there without any assistance from them. So it was with some amusement that we (a PanAm 747) listened to the following exchange between Frankfurt ground control and a British Airways 747 (call sign "Speedbird 206") after landing:

Speedbird 206: "Top of the morning Frankfurt, Speedbird 206 clear of the active runway."

Ground: "Guten morgen! You will taxi to your gate!"

The big British Airways 747 pulled onto the main taxi way and slowed to a stop.

Ground: "Speedbird, do you not know where you are going?"

Speedbird 206: "Stand by a moment ground, I'm looking up our gate location now."

Ground (with some arrogant impatience): "Speedbird 206, have you never flown to Frankfurt before?!?"

Speedbird 206 (coolly): "Yes, I have, in 1944. In another type of Boeing. I didn't stop."
"We don't leave our brothers behind."

Offline AG-51_Skeetr

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Re: Funnies-
« Reply #22 on: November 18, 2014, 11:24:58 PM »
An old "Warlord" buddy from VN just sent me this.

Subject: Fishing
 Fishing

The rain was pouring and there was a big puddle in front of the pub just outside the Air Force Base.

A ragged old Army Aviator was standing near the edge with a fishing rod, his line in the puddle.

A curious young Air Force fighter pilot came over to him and asked what he was doing.

"Fishing," the old guy simply said.

"Poor old fool," the Air Force officer thought and he invited the ragged old aviator into the pub for a drink.

As he felt he should start some conversation while they were sipping their whiskey, the haughty fighter pilot asked, "And how many have you caught?"

"You're the eighth," the old Army Aviator answered.

Offline AG-51_MD44

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Re: Funnies-
« Reply #23 on: January 25, 2017, 03:16:30 PM »


My Specs: Win 10 Pro 64 Bit, i7-3820@ 4.55GHz, 16GB RAM, RTX 2070

Online AG-51_Razor

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Re: Funnies-
« Reply #24 on: January 25, 2017, 03:47:10 PM »
That is too funny!!  :Rofl


Any pilot that tells you he's never been lost is either lying or he's never been anywhere.

Offline AG-51_Animal

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Re: Funnies-
« Reply #25 on: January 25, 2017, 10:11:07 PM »
 :grin:
People first.  Integrity always.

Offline AG-51_MD44

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Re: Funnies-
« Reply #26 on: April 12, 2017, 10:22:54 AM »


My Specs: Win 10 Pro 64 Bit, i7-3820@ 4.55GHz, 16GB RAM, RTX 2070

Online AG-51_Razor

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Re: Funnies-
« Reply #27 on: April 12, 2017, 10:38:21 AM »
I always suppected there was something a bit off about FlightSim users!!  :Rofl


Any pilot that tells you he's never been lost is either lying or he's never been anywhere.

Offline AG-51_Animal

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Re: Funnies-
« Reply #28 on: April 12, 2017, 12:32:46 PM »
 :Rofl
People first.  Integrity always.

Offline AG-51_Thud

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Re: Funnies-
« Reply #29 on: April 12, 2017, 12:34:42 PM »
 :Rofl